INSANITY Challenge

I’m in the second phase of INSANITY and as much as I’d like to tell you that it’s awesome and I love it, I simply can’t. I hate it. I really, really hate it. It makes me cry. I plodded through the first month and I didn’t love it then, but I didn’t hate it. This week is when that reality set in.

This phase brings longer workouts. They’re similar to the first month’s workouts, except more phenomenally insane, which any sensible person would have argued was impossible. Where the crap this guy comes up with this shit is entirely beyond me. Who is sitting around thinking, “push ups are good. . . jumping jacks are good. . . balancing on one toe and one finger is good. . . crossing your eyes is good. . . and . . . singing Yankee Doodle Went to Town is good. . . let’s do them all together!”. FREAKING PSYCHOPATHS, THAT’S WHO.

Someone needs to get Shaun T. some help. That boy ain’t right.

As I start to see the light, three more weeks in front of me, I’m encouraged to be more than halfway through the program. I’m extra encouraged to not be dead from it. I have yet to make it through an entire workout without stopping to take extra breaks. I have collapsed onto the floor after every single workout to date. I have sworn more and talked myself down to prevent ruining a perfectly good television on multiple occasions. I have done white pages searches for Shaun T. so that I might find out where he lives and fork his yard. But, I have not made it through a workout.

Which means I have to do it again.

Sometimes I really hate my personality.

If I’m gonna put myself through this Hell again, on purpose, I figure it only fitting to offer you the same Hell. I’m seeking facilities to accommodate a group INSANITY class starting mid-June. If you’re in the Austin area and are interested, let me know. If you happen to know of any wide open space that might let us all jump around together for an hour a day, let me know.

Misery loves company, and I can tell you I’ll be a lot happier putting myself through this when I can see some sort of collaborative agreement among other humans when I scream “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” at the TV.

3 more weeks, RAWR!