Well, hello, strangers!

Hi.   I don’t blog anymore.   Ever.   For no reason other than DO YOU KNOW WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS IT IS TO RAISE KIDS AND NOT HAVE INTERNET AT HOME?   I bet you don’t.

So, we bought a house.   Well, to be fair, I bought a house.   The kids really didn’t contribute a damn thing to the home purchase.   YET.   As soon as the law will allow (unless I can find a way earlier), they’ll be working to help pay this mortgage.   There’s no reason why three able-bodied people should live in a house that only one of those people is paying for.   Seriously.

Anyway. . . you might recall several years ago when I bought my last house.   Or, maybe not. I wasn’t blogging then, either.   *shrug*   The point is, I tore my last house limb from limb and redid her all nice and pretty.   Just in time to move to Austin and leave her behind.   It was a sad, sad time.   I wanted to load her up on a truck and bring her with me but people said that was unreasonable.   I kept her blueprints so I could re-build her. . . but then I never did go to that trouble.

The point is, I loved my last house more than I loved the guy who lived there with me.   And, I wish I could’ve brought the house to Texas with me instead of the guy.   And, I wish the people who bought my favorite house would take better care of it, particularly of the beautiful landscaping that we painstakingly designed and installed and nurtured so that they might have a fabulous lawn to enjoy, but whatever.

Anyway, the point is, I redid that kitchen half a dozen times in 2 years.   I tore out the bathroom entirely and made it suck WAY less.   I painted and built and installed and painted more and it made me so, so happy.   Then, I moved to Austin and started renting again.   Booooooo.

But, now I have a house again.   Yaaaaay!

Anway, the point is, I like to show off.   So, let’s make a sincere effort to use this blog as a house showing off place, mmkay?   It will be fun.

It will be way more fun if you give me ideas and help me paint.

On the off chance you’re still stalking, er, um, reading this. . .

I’ve moved on to bigger and better things,  Internet.  That’s not to say I won’t be back here.  I have really good intentions of getting back into this blog . . . mostly because my memories live here and it’s a whole hell of a lot easier to dump my brain onto a blog and go back to remember things. . . than to actually use my brain to remember those things.  Seriously.

In case you can’t stand my posting frequency of once every 6 weeks or so, you might consider stalking following me on Twitter.

I’m also a huge Facebook whore, using status updates for my own personal passive aggressive attacks, posting more photos than is really necessary.  Ever.  For anyone.  Ever., participating in completely ridiculous dialogue with people who have the mental and emotional capacity for 3 year old behavior, and overall being a complete dork.

You can keep up with me there, and you’ll probably be much happier about it than you are here, honestly.

Strategic Planning – Not Just for Business Anymore

Over the past few weeks, as I’ve wandered around desperately trying to find my way through all of the mush that was comprised of ideas and goals and priorities, I’ve had a few very big “DUH” moments, where I realized that applying what works in one aspect of life to the other aspects of life is a pretty obvious thing to do. 

One of those involves actively and purposefully communicating with the universe.  I’m sure a good 50% of you think that means I’ve lost my mind, and I’m fine with that because I’ve told the universe to punch you in the nads. 

Seriously, though, I was blessed a couple of years ago by the influence of one man who single-handedly changed the way I see the world.  He led me to The Alchemist and The Secret and Blink and we had long, epic philosophical discussions about an infinite number of things . . . and that one man made me see the whole world in an entirely different way.  This new way of thinking has changed my life for the better in more ways than I can even begin to describe.

Sitting at brunch last weekend with another brilliant philosopher, trying to sort out my professional path. . . it dawned on me that applying those same principles to my career was a complete no brainer.  I was embarrased that I hadn’t seen it sooner.  But, sometimes, we all need a little push.

The concept is simple, really.  When you want something – when you truly want something – with all your heart and soul, and when you sincerely seek to acheive that destiny, the universe responds and works to help you do just that.   But, you have to communicate that information to the universe, and you have to pay attention to what the universe says back. . . and once you are awake to that conversation, you’ll be amazed at how things seem to fall into place (this phenomenon is often coined “coincidence”).

I love it.  I love the whole bit of it.  At the same time, I’m a little too logical to believe I can just tell the universe I want to be a successful millionaire with flat abs and expect it to magically happen while I sit on my ass waiting.  I know that a great majority of the effort has to be made by ME in order for anything to happen (a lot of people miss that piece, and wind up very disappointed in how little the universe does for them).

I guess I see it as more of an 80/20 split.  You have to put in a whole hell of a lot of work up front (the 80), and when you do, if it’s the path you’re meant to be on, the universe will surprise you with little bits of help to make up the other 20.  It doesn’t seem like much, the 20, but when you’re neck deep in a project and you’re not getting any sleep at night because there’s just too much work to be done, that tiny little 20 percent feels like a miracle when it hits.

As I began reconciling all of this and applying it to my career, I realized there were equally successful tools at play in my professional life that I’d never considered transfering to my personal life.  My big “DUH” moment on this came when two different friends approached me with major life crisis and pleas for help in sorting through them.  The only way I could find to approach their personal crisis in any organized fashion was to attack it the same way I’ve attacked consulting projects with failing businesses. 

Strategic Planning.

It is so entirely unromantic.  It’s not even close to poetic.  You don’t typically use an outline to guide your path in life.  But, holy shit, it works.

I encourage you to give it a try.  I use a pretty standard strategic planning outline that looks like so:

I.  Define your mission
II.  Set Expectations  (especially important if you’re planning for a family as everyone needs to be clear on expectations)
III.  Define Goals
         A.  Daily
         B.  Weekly
         C.  Monthly
         D.  By year-end
         E.  Annually
         F.  3-5 years
         G.  12 years
         H.  Before you die
IV.  Identify strategies to meet each goal
V.    Define action items, next steps, and deadlines
VI.  Set a date(s) to review progress

See?  I told you it was completely unromantic.  But, imagine the sense of purpose provided by having all of this laid out.  Life just FEELS easier when you have a plan.  Trust me.  This is how I manage working full-time, being a single mom of 2, running various other organizations, maintaining a healthy social life, staying in shape, and remaining relatively sane all at once. 

I’ve excitedly cross-implemented both concepts in my personal and professional lives over the past several weeks, and with all of this happening at the start of a new year, I have a feeling this year is going to pretty badass.  It’s not too late for you to lay the groundwork to make yours rock, too.  1, 2, 3, GO!

2008 Gratitude

Ok, so I do these letters.  Every New Year’s, I write gratitude letters to the people who impacted my life over the course of the year.  Last year, I didn’t exactly get around to it because I had just adopted kids and life was. . . let’s say “hectic”.

This year, I made my list of people to whom letters needed to be written and I was a little overwhelmed.  It was approximately 4 times the number of people I wrote last time.  Given that I put a lot of thought into these letters and they’re not exactly short, that’s a lot of writing!

But. . . in the spirit of the whole concept – gratitude – I have to admit, it’s pretty awesome to be able to look at one year and come away with so many people to thank for having a significant impact on one’s life.

One of my favorite things about the way my mind works is that I can have some of the most amazingly shitty times of my life (hi, Fucking Douchebag & Stupid Whore!) and walk away thankful for the lessons learned and able to recognize the good that resulted from the chain of events that followed the shittiness.

My gratitude letters won’t all get out today, which kinda takes some of the impact out of it.  But, that’s OK because tomorrow, when I wake up and start the new batch of letters, it will be the first time I’ve had so many that it took two days. . . and that’s pretty freaking awesome.

Happy New Year, Internet!

2009 Pre-Resolutions

I haven’t taken the time to sit down and think through 2008 and what will change in 2009 (and when I do, I’ll be sure to fill you in!), but there are a few things that are just a given.

After Italy in 2007, I swore I’d travel alone at least once a year for the rest of my life (or at least until I found a suitable long-term travel companion).  Then I adopted these two kids and, though intentions were really solid, uuuuum, didn’t happen.  So, my first no-brainer, pre-resolution is to actually stick to that plan and take that annual trip – TO IRELAND (thank you, P.S. – I Love You)!

Of course, when I started looking at my travel budget, I had to lay out the year, and yay me!  I’m going skiing in Utah (to see the Bobs!), I’m taking the kid to Indiana for that blissful half summer, I’m going on a cruise with my sis who turns 30 in August, and I’m going to Ireland!  Uuum, hello?!  How awesome is my life?!

Ok, so if any of you have been to Ireland, please fill me in.  Where do I need to go?  What do I need to see?  What can I skip without feeling like I’m missing out?  According to my research so far, I’m leaning towards Galway & Dublin.  Anyone?

The other super awesome plan for 2009 is spearheading the development of a badass core group of girls (think Sex and the City).   I’m very excited about this because I KNOW some super cool chicks, but we haven’t ever made a targeted effort at really forming that strong core group.  Plus, just think of all the crazy fun things we can do!  Our first outing is ice skating.  Wheee!

I might have mentioned it before, but I’m also plowing through my second round of P90X.  Once I’m through that, I’ll get back to running with a big, magical goal of running a 10K this year.  Doesn’t seem like much, but you know me and running.

Not sure what else I’ll come up with in the next few days as I sit around doing nothing but writing my letters of gratitude and reflecting on 2008.

I hope you all have a safe & happy New  Year celebration and take the time to reflect and express gratitude to the people who graced your life this year!

Being understood

***I don’t know where this one was going, but it sure sounds like it was about to be a doozey!  Drafted Oct. 16 – about 20 minutes before I went for that run. . . I had no idea that I’d have another really great story to add to my list of jaw-droppers within in the hour.  Ha!***

I spent a lot of my life thinking my family was normal. . . that all families have constant drama worthy of soap operas and trashy novels.  The older I got, and the further away from my family that I got, the more I started to realize that we’re not normal.  In fact, we’re crazy.  A lot of people, dare I say, most people, have lived much more calm, uneventful lives. 

As such, a lot of people have a hard time really understanding some of the stories I tell.  Like. . . they undestand what I’m saying, but they don’t understand what it means to live it.  They stare at me in horror, trying to comprehend how someone could refuse to tell me that my grandpa was dying and effectively take from me a last chance to see him. . . or trying to imagine having to throw their sister under the bus to save her children.

Coming together. . .

***This one cracks me up. . . and is unfinished. . . and will remain that way because I can no longer be so positive about these people!  Ha!***

For the past 6 months, I’ve mostly led two separate lives.

1.  Single Mom of 2
2.  Badass Social Networking Princess

Most of the time, I’m Mom.  Every Wednesday, and every other weekend, I get to play Princess. 

For the first time this weekend, I finally got over my fear of my children behaving badly enough to completely alienate all of my friends. . . and I dragged them along to a big crawfish dinner with dozens of friends Saturday night.  Not only did we all survive, but the kids like crawfish.  Ugh!

Because I’m pretty much a poster child for Doesn’t Stop Once Started, I also hauled the kids to a BBQ Sunday. . . which, again, turned out just fine!

Mine were the only kids at either event, and I expected, a little bit, to be extremely uncomfortable and awkward.  But, as repeatedly mentioned before, my friends rock.  Not only were we completely unawkward, we all had a blast.  And, for the first time since I got the kids, I didn’t feel locked away from society on my kid weekend.

I also felt like my friends got to see a little more accurate account of who I am.  Because I don’t typically take the kids along for social adventures, most of my friends just haven’t seen me as a mom, and probably have a pretty hard time imagining it. 

When this whole thing started, I knew it would be a challenge to transition from the crazy, carefree life I had to the new responsible for 2 kids life. . . and I knew it would be difficult to get my friends to wrap their heads around the change.  What I did not know is that I would accidentally fall into a new circle of friends who never knew me before, and who are available for my crazy, non-kid party times. . . but who also know me as a mom and are wholeheartedly supportive of me in it. 

It makes little sense that my social life has been cut by 75% but has been so much more rewarding ever.  But, like all things in life, I suspect this is another example of how the universe conspires to

October, thank you

***I had started this draft in early November but chose not to publish it out of consideration for other people’s feelings.   Upon further review, I’ve decided those people’s feelings are not something I should really concern myself with given the context of the situation.***

After September, which damn near killed my soul, I basically decided that October had to be good or I’d be on the first flight out of this place.  Italy for a few years was sounding really good (eh, who are we kidding?  It still sounds really good). 

I wasn’t entirely sure that I’d be able to force myself out of the state of mind that September had put me in.  I knew I would have to if October was going to be any better, but I wasn’t sure I could. 

By mid-month, I was finally feeling like myself again, and I was comfortably enjoying the return to my regular life.  That’s right about the time I got the big fat reality check that read:  Sometimes your friends are not friends.

What a sobering realization.  

That news was exceptionally difficult for me to swallow.  It wasn’t even so much that I was great friends with the people involved, but just the general knowledge that seemingly functional adults would be so blatantly selfish and disrespectful – to anyone.  Forget that it was me.  Forget that we were friends.  Forget that I trusted and cared about these people, even after they kicked me in the face.  That they would behave that way towards anyone was something I struggled with comprehending.

It became a stopping point for me.  A moment in my life when I had to stop everything and re-evaluate what was happening, who I was spending my time with, who I was becomming as a result, and how to get back to the path I wanted to be on.  I’ve done this many times in my life, typically after some sort of major emotional event like this.  But, for some reason, this time was the hardest. . . the most draining. . . and the most revealing.

It took me what felt like an eternity to stop being so angry.  It took even longer to accept that the rest of the world doesn’t necessarily operate by the same moral compass that I do.  I don’t know that I’ll ever fully dismiss my disappointment in myself for so grossly misjudging his character, and, God help me, for constantly giving her the benefit of doubt despite a number of very clear displays of disrespect.

But, more than what the two of them did to my heart, and more than the loss of those two friendships, the collateral damage is what left me stunned.  To look around and see an entire social circle in a completely different light, and to realize that a group of people that I had spent a good majority of my year with were simply not at all in line with who I am or who I want to be. . . that was rough.  Because while it’s true, I love them just the same, and it’s just not easy to accept that someone you care about is not good for you. 

At the same time, and this is where October became one of the most amazing months of the year for me, when you’re forced to stop and examine your relationships, for every bit of bad information you encounter in that process, you find a thousand bits of good that you never noticed or appreciated. . . and when you finally do see those things, and particularly, when you’re able to celebrate and express gratitude for those things, it’s the most amazing thing.

I have reconnected with some of my favorite people in the world who fell off my radar for no reason whatsoever.  I have strengthened friendships that have been present for years.  I have developed new friendships with some unlikely people who have proven to be so much more amazing than I would have ever known.  

Above all, I have learned who will still be standing there with me when I’m at my absolute worst . . . and while you’d like to think that’s true of all your friends, the reality is, it’s just not.   When you have the opportunity to learn which of your friends will kick you when you’re down, which of your friends will whistle and avoid eye contact until you’re back to normal, and which of your friends will jump in the pit with you and help you climb out. . . as much as it sucks to go through whatever is giving you that opportunity, the resulting knowledge is truly priceless. 

There has been a clear shift in my life since that one moment in time, when a friend asked me to go for a run, spent the 30 minute run talking about my relationship with him, and then, after the run, told me she was sleeping with him.   She was so casual about it, so completely unconcerned about anything but making sure I was clear he was her territory now.  It was so surreal, yet so expected, and as I walked away from her wondering what rule book she was playing by and how it seemed even remotely reasonable to her, I realized that I was operating under a whole different set of values and that made me more sad for her than for me.  

I realized that an entire group of people that I somehow connected with, became friends with, and really enjoyed spending time with were functioning under the same value structure and that the same kind of drama would likely continue indefinitely within that circle.

I realized that I have a whole slew of friends who hold themselves to the same value structure that I do, and that I’d be far better served focusing my energy on those relationships.

I also realized that HE is the biggest coward I have ever known.

Return to bliss

I’m relatively certain you’ll all be quite relieved to know that my new Nike + iPod arrived today.  As a counteractive measure against the agony it has been to be without my Nike + iPod for 5 whole days, I also ordered some snazzy Nike sport headphones so I don’t have to worry about them falling out of my ears when I run (which, just so you know, is wildly distracting).

I may also have gone ahead and spent money on warm running clothes so that I might attempt to convince myself to continue running outside through winter. 

Being as I’m consistently running 3.5 miles/day for weeks now, I’m going to go ahead and also start calling myself a runner.  Before, I would have just said that I attempted  to run with regularity.  Now, I actually do it.  Yay me!

We may all resume our regularly scheduled lives now that I have the love of my life back.  I apologize for the interruption.

Devastating News

Today, I lost my Nike shoe sensor.

It’s possibly the worst thing that’s happened since my grandpa died.  Oh wait, there was that whole friend screwing the guy I was seeing thing. . . no, I think this is worse.

This is what I get for being all rebellious and thinking I could sneak by with my Asics instead of spending $100 on a pair of shitty Nike running shoes.  Well, or it’s what I get for not being a little smarter about how I attempted to sneak by with my Asics instead of spending $100 on a pair of shitty Nike running shoes.

You probably think I’m being melodramatic for humor, but I’m so not.  As soon as I realized I’d lost it, I packed up the kids and headed to the store to buy a new one because I planned to run this evening and can’t run without it.  We got sidetracked and bought a new pair of running shoes on the way (not Nike, but these have a little pocket on the tongue that could securely hold my precious Nike sensor).  And, then we got to Target and THERE WERE NO NIKE+ KITS.  I almost died.

We ran across the street to Walmart, NONE.

We then spent 45 minutes retracing our steps.  Couldn’t find it.

Please note:  the kids missed their naps for this.

I am now sitting here, frantically ordering a new sensor online, and dreading the wait for it to arrive.

I’m thoroughly addicted to this thing.  If that weren’t clear before, it definitely is now.  I have no idea how I will get my runs in between now and the days it takes for my new sensor to show up in my mailbox.

If I tell you I’ve been fighting back tears, are you gonna judge me for it?  Because. . . I’ve been fighting back tears.

I miss my Nike + iPod.

P90X Challenge

So, I need something to keep me busy through the winter or I’ll just sit around getting fat over the next few months.  So, I’ve got half a dozen friends who want to try P90X now that I’ve proven it works.  So, I’m pretty good at organizing groups.  So, I’m also pretty good at telling people to do stuff.  SO, we’re starting an official P90X challenge among friends to see who kicks ass and who sucks.

We’re going to start December 1.  Yes, that sucks.  That means you have to stay on track through Christmas & New Year’s.  BUT!  It also means you get to be crazy awesome hot by Spring Break.  See how that works?

We’ve got a fancy, schmancy Facebook group all set up to gather and bitch about Plyo motivate each other to keep pushin’. 

If you’re up for the challenge, let me know.  Also, hurry up and order the program so you have time to look at it before we get started.  It’s the kind of thing you want to brace yourself for. 

We’ll have some discussion about incentive within the group. . . but I can tell you right now, I’m voting vacation.  I’m due for a good vacation and if I make it through winter sticking with P90X, I think that’s a pretty good case for a lavish vacation!

P90X Results

Ok. I was never really going to post my fat pictures online anywhere ever. Because, dudes, I was a cow. Mooooo. And, I’ll be honest with you, I completely flipped my lid when I actually saw the before photos (for some reason the image in the mirror didn’t look nearly as horrifying as the photos). Like. . . I cried. A lot. And, that’s probably what got me to finally actually commit to something with undying certainty.

I took Day 1 photos, Day 60 photos. . . and then never took actual Day 90 photos because I got all preoccupied with that damned boy. So, I decided to start the program over again and took another set of photos last week, which reflect one month of no weight training but intense cardio, then one month of nothing at all (September was awesome!), then the past 5 weeks or so of running A LOT. I imagine it all evens out and we can say that the recent photos are pretty representative of where I was at Day 90.

So, funny thing, the image in the mirror now also doesn’t resemble the photos at all. These photos are incredibly magical and fantastic and I most definitely do not see myself as that thin or toned when I look in the mirror. Image issues much? Geez!

Anyway, because I’ve talked and talked and talked and talked and talked about P90X, and because it HAS worked wonders for me and I love it and I want other people to know that something works! Really!, I am shamelessly posting my fat before photos on the internet for all the world to see. Only because I get to also post the skinny photos for all the world to see.

Before that happens, though, let’s all agree to not discuss how lazy it was of me to not throw on a bikini or something less hideous than a non-matching bra & panties and socks in the before photos. Let’s also agree not to make fun of the fact that my head is missing from the before photos. I was not a happy camper in those photos, and also, I don’t ever want anyone to actually be able to prove that that is my fat ass. And, finally, let’s agree that we will pretend that you haven’t now seen me almost naked.

I have after pictures of my backside, but apparently not befores. . . interesting.  So, anyway. . . TA DA!